Psychotherapy for adult individuals and couples.
Individual Counseling
Many people are caught in a knot of self-destructive behavior and are unable to see it or appreciate how they themselves have tied it. Each believes the problems lie somewhere “out there,” surrounding them but beyond them, rooted in external circumstances. They also believe that the solutions to their problems are “out there” too—the right man, the perfect woman, a more appreciative boss, a more interesting job, the right diet. - James F. Masterson, MD
I provide therapy services for male and female adult individuals who seek help with stage of life challenges, depression, anxiety, social anxiety/shyness, and anger. These are merely “visible” or felt symptoms of deeper issues. I help clients repair their mind’s operating system, where early life development became arrested. Through our processing, clients can become aware of the False Self from which they have been operating and discover their Real Self so they can live authentic and healthy lives. Living in a False Self is very painful because it strongly defends against the realization that your personality development was interrupted very early in life, preventing you from being who you actually are. These defenses tend to create very painful consequences in people’s lives. Discovering and living in your Real Self is about uncovering who you are without unrealistic expectations from others and living the rest of your life in your unique existence.
Counseling for Men
Whether you are married, dating, or single, being a man in today’s world comes with its challenges. We are supposed to be tough yet sensitive, strong yet gentle, and take charge yet not be selfish. Wait, what?! Traditionally, men’s roles have been well defined in society - work hard and provide for your family. Men worked with their hands outside the home. Our skills included physical strength, endurance, and practical problem solving. In modern society, many men struggle balancing traditional skills with softer skills of empathy, nurturing, and attunement. Men tend not to pass these softer skills down to their sons because they are seen as feminine, which is assumed to be judged by other men as bad or weak. In our competitive nature, encouraged by our historical necessity for survival, we have been taught to never allow others to see us struggle or fail. Despite the advancement in women’s demands for more emotionally attuned men, many men (especially younger men) have not learned the skillset required to satisfy modern relationships. It’s not that men are not capable of being emotionally attuned to their wives or girlfriends; they simply have not been taught the skills needed.
How many times has your wife or girlfriend come to you, telling you all about a co-worker who makes her job painful and difficult? What do most men do? They do what they’ve been trained to do - problem solve! Your wife or girlfriend becomes upset and says you just don’t listen to her. Wait, what?! You just solved her problem, and you’re baffled that she is upset with you.
Every man can learn successful relationship skills. It takes willingness, effort, and time. You can do it while maintaining your masculine identity. The goal is to fight less, love each other more, and enjoy more fulfilling lives together. Isn’t that what we all want?
When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. -Paulo Coelho